The best revenge is premature balding
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
