You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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