How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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