dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize