Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
