Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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