Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
