There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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