why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
