so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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