Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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