please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
