in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize