idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize