We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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