If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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