It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
