school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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