I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
