There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
