I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
