Please, let me fuck your mom
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
