Sponge bath it is.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
