and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
