Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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