Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
love makes seman taste better
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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