3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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