Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
