please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
