My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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