Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
