u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
do nipples grow back?
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