i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
