I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
