Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize