Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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