Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
