my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
