Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
