Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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