I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
