just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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