some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
