one two three fourrrrnication!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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