Did I show you my penis last night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
