Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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