Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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