And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
