Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
