i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
