Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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