using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
