census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's the barista slut.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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