Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
