I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
