I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
