i don't like sucking hair
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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