We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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