its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
