what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
