I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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