i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
did you just send me my own nude
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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