Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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