I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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