He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
