My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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