did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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