Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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